Give Me a Chance
by Vicarious Denigration
Summary: Touya's been a messup all his life, and has found his place at a night club. But when a stranger gives him the chance to be loved, will he accept, or turn him down? Songfic, oneshot. KuramaTouya AU, rating to be safe


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, nor do I own The Haunted Looking Glass: Ghost Stories Chosen by Edward Gorey, the El Bastardo, Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, or Dean Koontz. I especially do not own Sober by Tool, the featured song in this one-shot. Nor do I own the bit about nailing the rat to a wall. My friend, Mary, did this. And yes, the rat was alive.

**Warning**: AU, some yaoi/shounen-ai, mentioning of suicide and drugs, use of alcohol, some language (only a little), whores and hoes (:P), and some definite OOCness on both Kurama and Touya's part. If you wish to flame me on any of these matters, or any matters relating to these, then get your ass out of here and leave me alone. This story isn't for you anyway. But I hope the rest enjoy it…and I really don't expect many reviews on this horrible piece of (censored). Rating for safety.

**Songfic**: this is a songfic to Sober by Tool. If you haven't heard this song before, I highly recommend it to you. It's wonderfully done

**Dedication**: for Burning Snow, whom I love and cherish. May she find angst and whatnot enjoyable.

* * *

_Give Me a Chance_

It was a place filled with men and women, whores both male and female, drug-addicts and drunks, strong and weak, both brave and afraid. All types came in, but they all had one thing in common: the potential for brutal suicide, and the need to feel loved. However, the feeling they received from the club was not love, but the sense of being wanted. And that feeling of self-worth and value only came from someone's hands running up and down your limbs, and the soft feeling of someone's lips traveling along your neck.

_**"There's a shadow just behind me  
Shrouding every step I take"**_

Touya knew all too well the feeling from experience. Nowadays he rarely allowed complete strangers to touch him, but even he could not resist the temptation of artificial love. So as he sat in a large moon chair with his feet propped up on a metallic blue chair made of plastic, he knew that he was perhaps destined to remain here for a long time. Strobe lights and blinking bulbs of color gave the impression that everything and everyone was moving in slow motion.

_**"Making every promise empty  
Pointing every finger at me"**_

The club was darker than most, having been recently built to especially please the Goths and those who suffered from genuine depression. There was a rather large bouncer outside that only let the certain type in. So if you were the Goth from the nowadays—having simply picked up the clothing style and a _strange_ but hyper attitude—you could bet that admission would not be granted.

"_**Waiting like a stalking butler  
Who upon the finger rests"**_

Touya had been granted entrance because of his cold eyes and dismal disposition. The bouncer, who everyone called Yama (due to his size and the ability to destroy anyone that opposed him), had immediately taken a liking to the shorter demon. He was fine with this. It was convenient. It allowed him to drink himself to a state of impassiveness, or until he was drunk enough to not care who he went home with (which was extremely rare these days).

_**"Murder now, the pattern called "must we"  
Just because the son has come"**_

At this point you may be wondering, 'if Touya's so depressed and at some Gothic dance club/whore attraction, then what is he wearing…?'

_**"Jesus, wont you fucking whistle?  
Something but the past and done"**_

Simple enough. He was garb in a pair of denim jeans with three chains dangling from the left belt hoops, along with a halfway-buttoned flannel shirt the color of the midnight sky. A pair of black Etnies with the logo in red was his favorite pair of shoes, besides going barefooted.

_**"Jesus, wont you fucking whistle  
Something but the past and done"**_

Both men and women made passes at him, but Touya contented himself in reading The Haunted Looking Glass: Ghost Stories Chosen by Edward Gorey. And while he did this, the sub-conscious of his mind reflected on what a fuck-up he was. There was no use in watching his language, since he knew it was true. As a child he had nailed a rat to his wall and left it there after witnessing his little brother commit suicide via train. Splattered by his kin's blood, he had come to the realization that childhood wasn't about having fun and loving things. It was the bridge to the upcoming horror of life.

_**"Why can't we not be sober?  
I just want to start this over"**_

After the rat incident, his parents had sent him to St. Anna's Insane Asylum for Disturbed Children. There he had picked up the pagan religion by a dark little girl with a fetish for catching little bugs in the garden. A common enough hobby among children. Difference was, she liked to tear them apart limb-by-limb, wing-by-wing, or poke at them with the burning tip of a stick of incense. If it caused a creature pain, she enjoyed it. Touya thought he fit in well enough with her. He had nailed a rat to a wall, hadn't he?

"_**And why can't we drink forever?  
I just want to start this over"**_

Pagan led to Satanism, which led to cults, which he soon tired of. Wearing cloaks and stalking the night with the intent to capture virgins and hand them over to the leader wasn't as appealing as finding a good book, some music, and settling down among a hundred dancing teenagers. Besides, the virgins he caught always seemed keen to not only hold onto their innocence (not that _he_ ever raped them), but also live. That didn't work well when their blood was needed for some satanic ritual (which Touya had always thought were some big joke anyway). The real end of cults had come when he saw the leader of their group stab a screaming girl in the eye with a silver pendulum that had a toxic-waste sort of glow about it. Now Touya countered satanism with being a petecostal. There was a small pentagram tattoo on his shoulder, and he also wore a silver cross. That was good enough for God, wasn't it?

_**"I am just a worthless liar  
I am just an imbecile"**_

Touya's parents had quickly given up on him, and had shipped him off to Japan to live with his uncle. The man had been the only one who ever accepted Touya for who or what he was, and he understood, could offer helpful counseling that the boy needed. But there was a small problem. Uncle Shunichi had been shot by a gang the day before Touya arrived.

_**"I will only complicate you  
Trust in me and fall as well"**_

Now Touya lived on his own in a small apartment that was hardly furnished, save for the book shelf filled with novels.

But his current reading was interrupted by the feeling of being watched, and Touya knew exactly who was watching him. A redhead had come in a week ago to join the group of 'troubled adolescents'. The first time Touya's icy blue eyes had met those of emerald green, there had been a sudden connection. Of what, he didn't know, but he hadn't liked it. For the longest time he had lived alone, trusting no one but himself and dead Uncle Shunichi. But the redhead had refused to relent in his staring. The connection had been one of understanding, and that's not what Touya wanted. It may have been what he needed, what he desperately wished for, but that was only part of him.

_**"I will find a center in you  
I will chew it up and leave"**_

He suspected that the redhead would eventually come over and ask for a night or two in bed, but that surely wouldn't happen for a while. The air of coldness about Touya often kept people away for weeks. Even he was an exception among these people. He was different. He may not have a cruel boyfriend or abusive parents, but he had years of witchcraft, an insane asylum, the knowledge he gained from books, a naturally dark mind, and the absence of parental figures. Throw a little control over ice in and he was an individual among the different.

_**"I will work to elevate you  
Just enough to bring you down"**_

And he didn't cut. Nor did he flaunt his wounds. Touya was not the type of person to go out of his way to harm himself. He wouldn't break a glass just to gain a new instrument to destroy himself with. He waited patiently for his opportunities, because it made them that much more enjoyable. And while he didn't cut, he burned. The stinging pain went way beyond a knife or shard of glass to the wrist. Just a second of flesh meeting the red-hot surface of a stovetop burner was enough for him. And it was always the same place—the side of the wrist, just an inch below the thumb. It was occasionally a difficult angle to get, but it was worth it. And the thick leather bracelet he wore hid the wound perfectly every time.

_**"Mother Mary, won't you whisper?  
Something but what's past and done"**_

Again there was the feeling of someone's eyes on him. But instead of the eyes roaming over his body as was usual, the stranger's sight remained on his face, on _his_ own eyes. They seemed intent to gain his attention, to Touya set aside his book and went to the bar, across the room from where his stalker sat.

_**"Mother Mary, won't you whisper?  
Something but what's past and done"**_

He could _feel_ the boy's aggravation in the air, though the redhead's pretty face revealed nothing. After asking for a particular drink, the bartender smiled and left. Touya was 5 oz of tequila, 3 oz of Everclear, 4 oz of Jack Daniel's, and 4 tbsp of Tabasco sauce away from a wild ride. It wasn't that he was an avid drinker. In fact, Touya hardly drank at all. But he still enjoyed an El Bastardo every once in a while. Besides, once he was unconscious on the floor, he wouldn't have to deal with the redhead.

_**"Why can't we not be sober?  
I just want to start this over"**_

Unfortunately, as he carried his glass back to his table, he was stopped halfway. Right in front of him, standing around 5'8 was the problem he wished to drink away. Emerald eyes bore into his own, and Touya glared.

"Should you be drinking?"

"Why not? That's why they put a bar in here."

"_**And why can't we sleep forever?  
I just want to start this over"**_

Touya tried to push passed the stranger, but immediately he felt a hand clamp around his arm. The redhead was certainly stronger than what he had taken him for. He turned and glared again, unappreciative of the way he was being crudely handled.

"I suggest you let go."

"I suggest…"

"_**And why?"**_

The teenager's voice was soft as he neared Touya. The many others around them failed to notice anything, as they never stopped their dancing. The strobe light helped nothing, either, as it was hard enough to see what you were doing with a beer-fuzzed mind. Touya did not back away, nor did he punch the stranger in the stomach. Emerald eyes were narrowed in an almost lustrous way.

"...That you put the drink down."

His breath tickled Touya's ear, and the ice master suppressed a shudder, along with the desire to rip this man to shreds.

_**"I am just a worthless liar  
I am just an imbecile"**_

"I don't believe I asked for your bothersome company," Touya spat. With a smile, the redhead released him. Flustered and angry, Touya hurried to where he had been sitting earlier. But when he looked at the table, he saw that his book was gone. Further annoyed, he looked back to see the redhead, The Haunted Looking Glass: Ghost Stories Chosen by Edward Gorey in hand along with a smug smile playing on his lips.

"My book."

"Hm?"

"My book. Now."

"Ghost stories," the redhead said softly. "Interesting. I would think one of your kind would be reading something by Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe…maybe even Dean Koontz."

_**"I will only complicate you  
Trust in me and fall as well"**_

Slamming his drink on the table, Touya stepped forward and wrenched the novel from his stalker's hand. Walking back to his seat, Touya settled back into the moon chair, highly aggravated and wishing he could nail this person to the wall instead of a _rat_. But along with his obvious intentions of being a nuisance, Touya felt a sense of charm, which only angered him further.

_**"I will find a center in you  
I will chew it up and leave"**_

With his peripheral vision, Touya saw the redhead coming. He felt his feet being lifted off the chair and onto the floor as the stranger occupied the seat he had been using as a footrest. Wanting to agitate him, Touya took a swig of his El Bastardo, and smirked to himself when he saw the redhead twitch. But when he still refused to leave after another five minutes, Touya lowered his book.

_**"Trust me  
Trust me"**_

"What do you want?" he asked bitterly. The answer that came was not what he had expected. Through all of his pagan and virgin-sacrificing days, he had not once been confronted with such loving words. Especially not from someone he had recently met. But as the redhead stared into his eyes with a look of seriousness that was unrivaled by anything even Touya had ever accomplished, he felt a part of him go numb, and it was something inside that had not been breached in a long time.

_**"Trust me  
Trust me"**_

"I want to take you home and shower you with kisses and embraces. I want to cover you in red rose petals and take in your beauty without so much laying a disrespectful hand on you. I want to speak with you about your view on the meaning of life and death, your opinion on love and hate, what you've been through, because I can tell you've had a difficult past. Most of all, I want to love you, and I want you to love me. I want to end this obsession that has taken over me since I first saw you by _indulging_ in it, and I want you to put that damn drink down so you can live through it all. I want _you_."

_"**Trust me"**_

Sitting in stunned silence, Touya was unable to either return or reject the kiss the redhead planted on his lips. As he felt soft yet strong hands caress his face, a warmness filled him that he had not felt since infancy. And the kiss was not impassioned by lust, but by something else; possibly this love the redhead spoke of. A solitary tear fell from Touya's crystalline eyes.

"**_Why can't we not be sober?  
I just want to start things over"_**

He was not perfect, but completely imperfect. The way he dressed, the way he had let strangers touch him and take him, the way he sometimes spoke…there was no way that this wasn't a trick.

_**"And why can't we sleep forever?  
I just want to start this over"**_

But after all the murderous thoughts that had been directed towards this boy, he so wanted it to be true. He wanted the love that everyone in the club sought, the love that most of them would never find.

"_**And why?"**_

Soft lips brushed against his once more, and this time Touya dropped his book and placed shaking hands behind the wonderful stranger's neck. Impossible, the way he felt the redhead pick him up and walk from the club. Touya forgot his book, forgot his drink, forgot the wall of ice that had once been around his heart.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I—"

"And I don't want to fool you. I want you to give me a chance, because somehow I feel a connection with you. I want to test this feeling. I want you to give me the chance to love you," he said. "I don't want you to have to go back there again."

_**"I want it when I want it  
I want it when I want it"**_

Shivering, Touya rested his head against this man's chest. This strange and romantic person, this redhead that revealed himself to be named Kurama, was taking him to his home to show him what love was. It had been so sudden, so unexpected, that a part of Touya still thought it to be a dream. Somehow he felt that he would end up hurting this Kurama. He didn't want to betray him like he had so many others. He didn't want a one-night stand. He wanted someone to stay by his side, and that was what Kurama had promised to do.

_**"I want it when I want it"**_

It couldn't hurt to give love a try…

_**"I want it when I want it…"**_

* * *

Indigo- oh look, a premature case of menopause 

Vox- don't insult your mother. You're lucky she hasn't thrown your ass on the street already

Indigo- feh…she's blessed to have me as a daughter. Please review! If you have the time to read a story, I'm sure you have a minute to spend giving some feedback


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